Running an idea here. Anyone wants to try taking up an experimentation serial? Maybe all of us do one chapter a month, and update weekly. Any ideas or takers?
What's on your mind?
I just had one of those zany ideas.
How does everyone feel about doing something like a "review swap"? In a review swap, I'd review your book if you'd review mine. I think this could really boost the feedback rate around the site. I mean, most of us here already do this to some extent, with waZ being the top member (under me, of course, hehe) because of his active critiques, but what if it was like an official thing? We could request review swaps with other authors via the forum or perhaps on articles themselves, and it can go chapter by chapter or whole-book.
More brainstorming needed on this one. First, what're everyone's thoughts?
WELCOME TO THE CHRISTMAS CAPS LOCK PARTY. IN AUGUST. YES, THIS IS A WEIRD TIME TO HAVE A CHRISTMAS PARTY, BUT THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING AND YOU'RE TAKING PART AND NO BUTS OR WHATS ABOUT IT.
THE RULES FOR THIS PARTY ARE SIMPLE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TYPE IN CAPS LOCK AND USE FULL-STOPS. NO QUESTION MARKS OR EXCLAMATION MARKS AND CERTAINLY NO LOWERCASE LETTERS. UNDERSTAND. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. ALL RIGHT THEN.
I WILL BE YOUR HOST, PRESENTING ALL THE EVENTS. KUDOS TO LERFISH FOR DECIDING WE SHOULD HAVE A CHRISTMAS PARTY IN THE MIDDLE OF AUGUST. MADMAN.
EVENT NUMBER 1: YOU WALK THROUGH THE DOOR OF LERFISH'S HOUSE. WHAT'S THE FIRST THING YOU DO.
MY ANSWER: I BOW AND DO PLIE.
I want to try something I've recently thought up. Basically, this game goes like this. A person, in this case, me, will start with a paragraph telling a simple story or action. After the paragraph, I'll end with a single word. The word can be as hard and complex as we can think of, or as easy as pie. The next person will start a new paragraph using that word, all the while keeping in flow with the story. We can conversatins as well. It's up to us to write it like we would a paragraph or conversation in our on story. Integrity people. We keep going until no one is able to continue. The last person to be able to answer a word is the winner! Here, I'll star with something easy.
The hanging lamp in the interrogation room swung back and forth, the shadows of the interrogator and suspect dancing again the white-washed walls. The one way mirror which everyone knew from watching television reflected the two person. The nervous man in a ragged coat and torn jeans, with his unkempt, furly beard and hair was obviously picked up off the streets. Sitting opposite the table from him was a detective in a ironed suit and tie, a striking contrast.
(And whoever's interested will continue from the word he! Have fun!)
Nice to get the over-arcing plot established early on. At first I rolled my eyes at the video recording, as it is a pretty common trope, but I realise that it is probably what one would do in that situation, so fair enough.
So, I finally got around to doing this. A thread to discuss my disgusting 139: In Evening. Whatever bad stuff (or the rare good) you want to say, say it here!
Just wanted to let you guys know what the dealio is.
Foolz3h and I are superior specimen. We were baptized in the fires of forum adminship, and now we have ascended to godhood in the eyes of meagerer men.
If you don't believe me, see for yourself:
As the above photo shows, one comment from either of us is equal to two comments from anyone else.
I will present more proof as it becomes available, but Ho, Let This Be Your Warning.
I'm making this my next series to catch up on. I'll be trying to read at least two chapters a day.
Chapter 1 and 2:
I love how digitally illiterate Hobson is, particularly with the realization that there are real people on the internet. To me, that's the funniest part so far, though #HobsonVsWolf is solid too.
The most common names in Hollywood for Chinese are often one syllables. 'Lee', 'Chan', 'Woo!', and so forth. It's likely that I'll be the only Chinese born writer on here for some time, so I'd like to share my culture with you all and why Hollywood is wrong. That way everyone will have a better understanding when writing ethnic characters from my culture and better their writing knowledge.
I'm born in Singapore, by so far, what I consider, the only 'real' multi-cultural country in the world, so I have quite an edge in writing characters of different ethnicity given my upbringing. For me, it's not weird for me to see people of other races, and our countrymen accept and often make fun of our own physical and cultural traits with no animosity, since we've come to accept every race as part of our lives. In fact, when I went to Melbourne last year, I got completely uncomfortable by the lack of other races.
Anyways, so here's the thing on our names. Most modern Chinese have a three syllables name, though there are two syllables as well, more so in the past than present, depending on the time and dynasty. Your family name is always first, aside from some American Chinese who chooses to put their family name last. So my name, is read Huang Jun Xiang phonetically, with Huang being my family name. However, some Chinese names is writtern different in English compared to the phonetic version. My family name, Huang, is actually written Ng in English, Jie can be Chay and so on.
Now, phonetically, our words can be pronounced in four different tones on the vowels, which each tone having different set of words, with each word having different strokes, and each word having different meaning dependent on what comes before or after them of doesn't appear.
Go to this wikipedia link and play the sound in the corner to hear the difference in the four tones for a single letter combination.
So, for my given name, Jun Xiang, we'll use the Xiang as an example. It can also be pronounced with four tones. For mine, it is said in the second tone, and the word itself is 翔 which when paired with another word, fei (飛) means fly. When spoken in the first tone and paired with another word, it becomes xiangji, which means 箱子 (box).
For a more easily recognizable reference, Bruce Lee's Chinese name is Lee Xiao Long, His family is Lee, pronounced in the third tone, and his given name is Xiao Long, pronounced in the third and second tone respectively. Now, the common misconception with the pronunciation is because phonetically, it is insanely stupid when translated from Chinese phonetics to English phonetics. If you still can't get the sound of the phonetics (and I can't blame you, it's confusing for new learners), here's a rought idea of how it would sound like in English phonetics.
"Lee? Xi-ow Long (hold your nose for the 'long' to get the correct sound)"
Not kidding you, you have to read the 'question mark' for it to sound right. Because there are no signs for the phonetic tones in English. Here's the Chinese PinYin phonetics for my xiang. xiāng xiáng xiǎng xiàng Which are all sets of different words. Respective example, 香 翔 想 像. In turn, the four words roughly means, 'smell', 'fly', 'thought' and 'alike'.
I think this is enough for one post, and I've ran out of ideas. So, if you people have any specific question you'd like to clarify (which I assume is alot), feel free to ask.
Just 15 chapters? That I can do. While I head into hibernation this week to write MS, I'll read a fellow epic fantasy on my down-time to keep the fire going.
I love this type of story. I read the summary, and immediately went off to read the first chapter. I always thought it was both a tragedy and a blessing that there aren't more stories like this. A tragedy since that means I'm strapped to find stuff with a similar plot, and a blessing since it hasn't been completely butchered.
Onto the actual reviews now!
It seems like a mature version of the Grim Adventures of Bill and Mandy. Nataly and Danny, from what I've read, seem like genuine friends. Especially the comment about the yellow convertible.
Good cliffhanger with the dead girl and the pentagram. I thought it was really well executed the way Danny revealed that it was a pentagram. All in all, I'm definitely reading the other chapters, but a few critiques. Show, don't tell. There isn't much description of anything. That isn't to say that it's not allowed (Well, Chuck Palahniuk proved that it's allowed), but there are certain things I'd like to have read about in more detail. For example, the introduction of Chris and Katie. Maybe some description of how Katie has so much makeup on her face, it's a miracle she isn't dragging her head around on the ground.
Or how Chris has his shirt inside out. Something to add some more... depth to what's happening. Just my two cents.
Good cliffhanger again. Although, it was actually infuriating for me since I realized that there wasn't a Chapter 3 yet. I like how Satan sent Danny an email. I guess even devils have to go along with the modern days. Gone are the days when they'd be summoned by a pentagram and some Latin with a dash of sulfur.
Danny and Nataly seem rather cold. Well, let me rephrase. They don't seem to feel much of anything. They're very muted about everything, and thus, the impact of these events doesn't really hit home as hard as they should.
Granted, it's probably intentional. Teenagers, after all, are reputed to be quiet and introspective (Although, as a teenager myself, I'm more talkative than quiet...). I hope that in future chapters, though, they show more fear. (I sound like such a sadist right now.)
Anyways, looking forward to Chapter 3. Hook me up with it before all the others, and I'll give you a thousand bucks in Monopoly money.
I wonder what next will happen. Oh, well, guess I'll have to wait till tomorrow. Hope these comments help.
I see some damn cool original covers sprouting up around the wiki. Now I have to know how you guys came up with them.
Since the old tyrant forgot to make this prestigious thread, I went ahead and done it.
So what's everyone reading? Give us a summary to whet our appetites.
This is the official thread for leaving comments on The Super Police by yours truly. If you want to leave multiple comments or comments that spoil the story it is recommended you post them here and not in the comment section.
This is the official thread for leaving praise, criticism or any other kind of comment on A River of Godsblood. It is adviced you use this thread rather than the comment section if you want to post more than one comment on ARoGB. While the comment section should be spoiler free, the spoiler warning is implied on this thread.
I think I'll start with the positives this time. I like stuff like what you wrote about Joe's Diner / Diner Joe. I feel it adds personality to the setting.
The story over-all is intriguing. I'm itching to find out if people are litterally being possessed by dead criminals or if there is some other explanation, like Gordon having gone mad after the death of his brother and started killing innocent people due to his paranoid halucinations.
Then over to some sentence issues:
"Gordon killed his deputy who tried to kill him first."
Simply "Gordon killed his deputy in self-defense" sounds much better.
"In an attempt to hide the evidence that it was him..."
The last part is implied. It's enough to write "in an attempt to hide the evidence."
All boards on the forum have been condensed into one: The Writers' Lounge. I wish I can get rid of the "multiple board" system all together, because it means that when anyone clicks "Forum", they have to click the board to get to the posts, but at least now there's no confusion about where all the topics will be. I might open new boards in the future for other general purposes, but I doubt it.
What does this mean for you guys? It means you only have to go to one place to find every single forum post! Simple, right? Yeah, I know.
I see there's a few answers to the poll on the Main Page. Apparently you guys have suggestions. HRMMMGH. Okay fine. Lay your suggestions down right here.