Radio Silence - WaZelda's notes
I think I'll start with the positives this time. I like stuff like what you wrote about Joe's Diner / Diner Joe. I feel it adds personality to the setting.
The story over-all is intriguing. I'm itching to find out if people are litterally being possessed by dead criminals or if there is some other explanation, like Gordon having gone mad after the death of his brother and started killing innocent people due to his paranoid halucinations.
Then over to some sentence issues:
"Gordon killed his deputy who tried to kill him first."
Simply "Gordon killed his deputy in self-defense" sounds much better.
"In an attempt to hide the evidence that it was him..."
The last part is implied. It's enough to write "in an attempt to hide the evidence."